Today is the Feast of the Epiphany, the traditional date when we celebrate the arrival of the wise ones who came to the Christ child with gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh. Yes, there are plenty of jokes about these so-called "wise men" ... as in "How wise could they be to bring those kinds of baby gifts? Wise women would have brought diapers, onesies and casseroles."
But setting some snark aside (sorry ... can't get rid of all of it), these mysterious strangers come from a foreign land. They are "others" ... non-Jews ... outside the covenant of Abraham. I think it is fascinating this vignette comes from Matthew who scholars believe was writing for a Jewish audience and doing his best to convince them that Jesus was the promised Jewish Messiah. It is Matthew who includes the story of outsiders coming to worship and bring their gifts to the Christ child. Outsiders become the insiders and Herod, the consummate "insider" of his kingdom, becomes the one outside of grace ... and who will go on to command his soldiers to kill all of the baby boys in Bethlehem just to make sure there are no threats to his throne.
We still have our "Herods" with us. Turn on the news and watch what is happening in Syria and in the Sudan. It happened in Kurdistan and Srebrenica and Rwanda and Bosnia and ... a threat to power is still met with overwhelming force and brutality ... and children die.
So this is the world God decided to come into as a helpless baby? In terms of realpolitik, it seems like God might have come up with a better plan - one where some awesome show of power would lay a can of whoopass onto the Herods of our world. But maybe that's just it ... there is no other plan ... and no way out but death.
St. Augustine once said, "You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you." Our restlessness only ceases in death ... death to ourselves and our way of living. Death to the power we try to extort from God and others. Death to manipulations and lies and exploitation. Death to our attachments and idolatrous addictions. And ... finally ... Death of the body itself.
But we hate the idea of death and we try to avoid it at all costs. We'd rather put our trust in ourselves than follow the path to death and beyond to find our real home. And when we do, we become tyrants. Perhaps not as obvious as Herod as most of us don't have soldiers at our disposal to send out to do our dirty work. Truth be told, we're pretty good at doing our dirty work ourselves. We keep trying to find our home in God ... but only by the paths we want to take ... and it's not working.
The Magi were warned in a dream not to return to a tyrant ... so they went home by another way.
Maybe this year it is time to give up returning to our tyrant selves and embrace death ... and go home by another Way.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
It's pronounced "Paass-tore"
I admit I have an ambivalent relationship with the use of honorifics. There ... I said it. The first time I was called "ma'am," I was 18 years old and working as a florist. I turned around to see who this girl was talking to ... and I was the only one in the shop. It was weird.
When I got married and first had someone call me "Mrs. Scarborough," I did the same thing. I turned around to see if my mother-in-law had walked into the room behind me. She wasn't there, for the record.Later, when I had children, I became "Mrs. _________'s Mom." First it was "Mrs. Claire's Mom" then it was "Mrs. Erin's Mom." You kind of forfeit any personal identity when it comes to your kids - their peers know them, and you become "Mrs. _________'s Mom."
Then I finally gave into God's call to the priesthood. It took 26 years for me to say "yes." Remember, I'm old enough to have grown up when this was not an option because of my chromosomal configuration. I just thought God was nuts. Apparently, either God is nuts or I'm really supposed to do this. Some are still betting on the former and I get plenty of "feedback" from folks in that camp regularly. Fortunately, the congregation I serve and our denomination is betting on door #2 ... and so far, so good.
People still do not know what to do with women in collars. Not only do they not know what to call us, many doubt we are even really ordained. My colleague Diane, who is an ELCA pastor in Connecticut, was balled out by a woman a few weeks ago when she pulled up to the hospital on her Harley-Davidson and parked in the clergy spot to make a pastoral call. She unzipped her leathers to show her collar. The woman was unimpressed and said anybody could wear a collar. Diane proceeded to show her the Communion kit in her saddlebag - again the woman was nonplussed. Diane then showed her the ELCA roster card in her wallet identifying her as a duly ordained pastor in the ELCA. Finally, the woman relented and apologized. I wonder if my friend would have received this kind of third degree had she been male? While we can't argue the negative, I do believe the accosting party would have likely backed down at the clerical attire had it been on a man riding a Harley.
The doubt of our "legit-ness" extends into what to call me. After 35 years of ordaining women, we still get the, "What do we call you?" question. When I'm feeling particularly snarky, my response is, "Isn't it obvious? 'Your Majesty' will suffice." I even offer to let them kiss one of my rings for good measure ... you know, to get the full effect. I have people call me "Mother Scarborough" or "Pastor Scarborough" and that's fine ... especially when we don't know each other well. Kind of a common courtesy like calling someone "Mr.," "Mrs.," or "Ms." when you don't know them well. If people know me, I'm good with being called by my baptismal name. It's worked well for 49 years, I see no need to give it up now. But some people just don't know what to do with me ... like the bride whose family were members of our congregation a long time ago who wanted to rent the church for her wedding - her Baptist (male, of course) pastor would be officiating. I've only been in the congregation 2 years, so this is new territory for me. In the past week, I've had two occasions to speak to this young woman on the phone ... and yes, she is young enough to be my daughter. She left a voice mail message last week and when I called her back, she said, "Hi Sweetie, how are you?" I was so shocked I wasn't quite sure if I heard her correctly. I responded, "Excuse me?!" She rephrased the question without the "sweetie" reference. I let it slide that time and wrote it off to a slip of the lip.
But ... it happened again this week. I placed a call to her and after identifying myself she responded, "Oh hi! How are you sweetie?" My internal voice wanted to scream, "It's pronounced PAASS - TORE not SWEE-TEE!" but ... I asked her calmly, "Excuse me, but did you just call me 'Sweetie'?" She replied nonchalantly, "Yes." ... Yes ... as if there is absolutely nothing wrong with calling someone you do not know "sweetie." Really?
I took a deep breath and said, "That is a term of endearment which is only appropriate for my family members to use when addressing me. I expect you to call me 'Pastor Scarborough.' Have I made myself clear?" Apparently, this rattled her cage and she was quite clipped in her response of "Yes, ma'am" and her additional responses to my questions.
About 20 minutes after this conversation, she called me back to apologize and told me she meant no offense. I accepted her apology and let her know that I sensed this was a habit she had but one I strongly suggest she needs to check as calling a person you do not know "sweetie" is disrespectful regardless of whether you meant it disrespectfully or not. I asked her if she addressed her own (male) pastor as "sweetie." She said, "No." I gently told her that if it isn't ok to address a male pastor as "sweetie," it's not ok to say it to a female pastor either.
Chalk it up to a teaching moment ... but knowing this bride is young enough to be my daughter is troubling. It breaks my heart that we are still having to address double-standards about respect for clergy. In both of these cases, the female clergy were confronted by women! It is is a patriarchal hang-over to speak respectfully to male clergy and give them the benefit of the doubt while not extending the same courtesy to women clergy. Admittedly, there are many people who do treat us as respectfully as they do our male counterparts and the numbers are growing. But for the record, regardless of chromosomal configurations, it's pronounced "Pass - tore" ...or "Your Ma-jes-ty." I'll answer to either.
When I got married and first had someone call me "Mrs. Scarborough," I did the same thing. I turned around to see if my mother-in-law had walked into the room behind me. She wasn't there, for the record.Later, when I had children, I became "Mrs. _________'s Mom." First it was "Mrs. Claire's Mom" then it was "Mrs. Erin's Mom." You kind of forfeit any personal identity when it comes to your kids - their peers know them, and you become "Mrs. _________'s Mom."
Then I finally gave into God's call to the priesthood. It took 26 years for me to say "yes." Remember, I'm old enough to have grown up when this was not an option because of my chromosomal configuration. I just thought God was nuts. Apparently, either God is nuts or I'm really supposed to do this. Some are still betting on the former and I get plenty of "feedback" from folks in that camp regularly. Fortunately, the congregation I serve and our denomination is betting on door #2 ... and so far, so good.
People still do not know what to do with women in collars. Not only do they not know what to call us, many doubt we are even really ordained. My colleague Diane, who is an ELCA pastor in Connecticut, was balled out by a woman a few weeks ago when she pulled up to the hospital on her Harley-Davidson and parked in the clergy spot to make a pastoral call. She unzipped her leathers to show her collar. The woman was unimpressed and said anybody could wear a collar. Diane proceeded to show her the Communion kit in her saddlebag - again the woman was nonplussed. Diane then showed her the ELCA roster card in her wallet identifying her as a duly ordained pastor in the ELCA. Finally, the woman relented and apologized. I wonder if my friend would have received this kind of third degree had she been male? While we can't argue the negative, I do believe the accosting party would have likely backed down at the clerical attire had it been on a man riding a Harley.
The doubt of our "legit-ness" extends into what to call me. After 35 years of ordaining women, we still get the, "What do we call you?" question. When I'm feeling particularly snarky, my response is, "Isn't it obvious? 'Your Majesty' will suffice." I even offer to let them kiss one of my rings for good measure ... you know, to get the full effect. I have people call me "Mother Scarborough" or "Pastor Scarborough" and that's fine ... especially when we don't know each other well. Kind of a common courtesy like calling someone "Mr.," "Mrs.," or "Ms." when you don't know them well. If people know me, I'm good with being called by my baptismal name. It's worked well for 49 years, I see no need to give it up now. But some people just don't know what to do with me ... like the bride whose family were members of our congregation a long time ago who wanted to rent the church for her wedding - her Baptist (male, of course) pastor would be officiating. I've only been in the congregation 2 years, so this is new territory for me. In the past week, I've had two occasions to speak to this young woman on the phone ... and yes, she is young enough to be my daughter. She left a voice mail message last week and when I called her back, she said, "Hi Sweetie, how are you?" I was so shocked I wasn't quite sure if I heard her correctly. I responded, "Excuse me?!" She rephrased the question without the "sweetie" reference. I let it slide that time and wrote it off to a slip of the lip.
But ... it happened again this week. I placed a call to her and after identifying myself she responded, "Oh hi! How are you sweetie?" My internal voice wanted to scream, "It's pronounced PAASS - TORE not SWEE-TEE!" but ... I asked her calmly, "Excuse me, but did you just call me 'Sweetie'?" She replied nonchalantly, "Yes." ... Yes ... as if there is absolutely nothing wrong with calling someone you do not know "sweetie." Really?
I took a deep breath and said, "That is a term of endearment which is only appropriate for my family members to use when addressing me. I expect you to call me 'Pastor Scarborough.' Have I made myself clear?" Apparently, this rattled her cage and she was quite clipped in her response of "Yes, ma'am" and her additional responses to my questions.
About 20 minutes after this conversation, she called me back to apologize and told me she meant no offense. I accepted her apology and let her know that I sensed this was a habit she had but one I strongly suggest she needs to check as calling a person you do not know "sweetie" is disrespectful regardless of whether you meant it disrespectfully or not. I asked her if she addressed her own (male) pastor as "sweetie." She said, "No." I gently told her that if it isn't ok to address a male pastor as "sweetie," it's not ok to say it to a female pastor either.
Chalk it up to a teaching moment ... but knowing this bride is young enough to be my daughter is troubling. It breaks my heart that we are still having to address double-standards about respect for clergy. In both of these cases, the female clergy were confronted by women! It is is a patriarchal hang-over to speak respectfully to male clergy and give them the benefit of the doubt while not extending the same courtesy to women clergy. Admittedly, there are many people who do treat us as respectfully as they do our male counterparts and the numbers are growing. But for the record, regardless of chromosomal configurations, it's pronounced "Pass - tore" ...or "Your Ma-jes-ty." I'll answer to either.
Monday, December 9, 2013
Consumerism in the Church
My colleague Fr. Tim Schenck from St. John the Evangelist Episcopal Church in Hingham, MA (and possibly better known for originating Lent Madness), wrote a blog post today entitled "Want Fries With That?" In it, he addresses the creeping problem of the consumerism in our culture infecting how we view Church and the clergy who serve her.
Some have misconstrued this as a rehashing of east-facing versus west-facing altars of the liturgical renewal movement. Regardless of how the clergy is situated when saying the Eucharistic prayer, facing the congregation has had the unintended consequence of crashing into the blatant consumerism with which our culture is saturated.
Personally, I wouldn't change facing the congregation at the altar. I do believe Tim+ has appropriately raised the awareness that our posture can be misunderstood or overlaid with other meanings brought in from the world and the deleterious effects it can have on how we understand ourselves as the Church.
We are not purveyors of religious goods and services. We are the Body of Christ and as such a community centered on Christ first and foremost. Priests are not "sacramental Pez dispensers" who exist to dole out baptisms, weddings and funerals on demand. We are called to the cure of souls and to bring the presence of Christ to the gathered community through the sacraments.
When we view the Church solely as the place we go to "be fed," the focus ceases to be on God and it turns towards us. It becomes what we want and whether we are fed and whether or not our needs are met. What if, it's really not about us? What if it starts and ends in God? And what if this God has invited us into greater, more intimate, loving participation with God and each other in this community of faith?
This isn't to say we don't spend time discerning the community to which God may be calling us - the place where our gifts and graces can make a difference in the life of the Church. But note the focus is less about getting what I want or need, but where I can contribute toward the communal life of the risen Christ. The first approach is focused on me ... the second is on thee. Advent seems the appropriate time to reflect on our focus - is it on me, or thee?
Oh ... and I'm with Tim+ ... I will take fries with that too!
Some have misconstrued this as a rehashing of east-facing versus west-facing altars of the liturgical renewal movement. Regardless of how the clergy is situated when saying the Eucharistic prayer, facing the congregation has had the unintended consequence of crashing into the blatant consumerism with which our culture is saturated.
Personally, I wouldn't change facing the congregation at the altar. I do believe Tim+ has appropriately raised the awareness that our posture can be misunderstood or overlaid with other meanings brought in from the world and the deleterious effects it can have on how we understand ourselves as the Church.
We are not purveyors of religious goods and services. We are the Body of Christ and as such a community centered on Christ first and foremost. Priests are not "sacramental Pez dispensers" who exist to dole out baptisms, weddings and funerals on demand. We are called to the cure of souls and to bring the presence of Christ to the gathered community through the sacraments.
When we view the Church solely as the place we go to "be fed," the focus ceases to be on God and it turns towards us. It becomes what we want and whether we are fed and whether or not our needs are met. What if, it's really not about us? What if it starts and ends in God? And what if this God has invited us into greater, more intimate, loving participation with God and each other in this community of faith?
This isn't to say we don't spend time discerning the community to which God may be calling us - the place where our gifts and graces can make a difference in the life of the Church. But note the focus is less about getting what I want or need, but where I can contribute toward the communal life of the risen Christ. The first approach is focused on me ... the second is on thee. Advent seems the appropriate time to reflect on our focus - is it on me, or thee?
Oh ... and I'm with Tim+ ... I will take fries with that too!
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