Limits to Reconciliation

 

Q.	What is the mission of the Church?
A.	The mission of the Church is to restore all people to unity with God and each other in Christ.
Q.	How does the Church pursue its mission?
A.	The Church pursues its mission as it prays and worships, proclaims the Gospel, and promotes justice, peace, and love.

Book of Common Prayer, page 855.

These questions from our catechism point to how the Church's mission is restoration of unity with God and each other in Christ - a mission of reconciliation. We are living in a terribly polarized time - and not just in the United States. Ultra-right fascist elements are on the rise worldwide as climate change is putting pressure on food supplies and migration and the COVID pandemic still continues to infect and ravage our health. When anxiety rises, the temptation to follow some strongman who claims to "have all the answers," is a serious threat. We often fall prey to idolatry - whether embodied in a person or an ideology.

I am deeply weary of the relentless assaults on our democracy and the Christian Nationalism which has distorted the Gospel into a fascistic purity cult willing to attack anyone who isn't white, isn't straight, and isn't cisgender. Sadly, these Christian Nationalists have gained power in a number of states and are attacking the LGBTQ+ siblings and destroying safe access to abortion for women (even when it is medically necessary to save a woman's life). This, of course, is an extension of patriarchal white supremacy which has oppressed BIPOC people since the colonization of this nation. It's just widened it's attacks to hurt even more people.

Christian Nationalists are attempting to force a narrow interpretation of the Bible on everyone in clear violation of the 1st Amendment's Establishment Clause and the new ultra-conservative Supreme Court is going along with this agenda. I grieve when friends and family must make plans to escape the rising fascism in the United States to save their lives. This is NOT Christian and it is NOT democracy.

There are voices in the Church who are calling for reconciliation in this time of polarization. While I find this an admirable and fundamentally Christian position, I also question where the limits to reconciliation are. In his book Forgive and Get Your Life Back, Episcopal priest Dennis Maynard explains that forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration are three distinct steps in a process. Too often, I think we jump to talking about reconciliation before we have acknowledged that harm has been done to God's children. We seem to shy away from talking about the limits of reconciliation under the guise of "bringing all parties to the table" in some empty feely, feel-good talk as if doing that will magically erase the pain and suffering inflicted.

How exactly will bringing "all parties to the table" work when some of those parties want to "eradicate" members of my family? How does it work when life saving gender care is denied to trans people? How does it work with anti-Semitic rhetoric calling for the "annihilation of the Jews"? How does it work when some of those parties would rather see women die than get a medically necessary abortion? How does it work when legislators call for bringing back "hanging from trees" (lynching) as a form of capital punishment? Let me suggest something - it won't work until we get clarity on the difference between loving our neighbor and loving their ideology, rhetoric, or behaviors.

I served a parish where we had some hard discussions about the limits of welcome when a member acted out in a way that threatened my safety and that of the leadership. After prayer and conversations, our leadership agreed that our position was "We welcome all people as Christ, but we do not welcome all behaviors." I believe a similar discernment is necessary as we try to be peacemakers in a polarized world. Bringing "all parties to the table" when some of those parties are actively calling for harm to be done to others is welcoming Sin and making the table unsafe for marginalized people. Philosopher Karl Popper called this the Paradox of Tolerance: when you tolerate intolerance, all you'll be left with is intolerance.

When people can "come to the table" with a spirit of humility, an open heart, willingness to listen more than speak, and a willingness to confess where they have sinned and harmed others, then dialog can happen regardless of partisan politics. Dialog is not possible with those who have hardened their ideological stance and are unwilling to change - they have chosen a different god to follow.

I have great respect for Christians who can engage extremists and work with them to soften their positions. I truly do believe that change is possible and this is the courageous work of the cross. It can be done effectively and it is work which needs to be done long before we talk to those in marginalized communities about "bringing all parties to the table" for reconciliation. God loves all people, but God does not love violent rhetoric or acts of hate.

What's really on the ballot

We are coming to the end of a long election season. Honestly, in the United States, it feels like we are in a never ending election cycle these days. As a priest, I've often been criticized for being "too political" and my critics tell me "Jesus was not political." To be clear, I have never been "partisan from the pulpit." I do not endorse candidates from within the walls of the church. To do so is a violation of the Johnson Act and as a Jeffersonian constitutionalist, I believe in the separation of Church and State. However, I do not believe the Church is to be silent on matters of Christian ethics which, inevitably, means being political.

The word politics derives from the Greek words polis (city) and politikos (citizen). It refers to how we organize our public life together and Jesus, following the tradition of the Torah and the Hebrew prophets, had a lot to say about how we organize our public life. His primary concern was the same as God's concern spoken to Moses and the prophets: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength" (Deuteronomy 6:5) and "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Leviticus 19:18b).

Love of God is not complete without love of neighbor. Many of us feel we can separate these two commandments - as if there's an "or" implied. There are many who say they love God, but their actions have no regard for the well-being of their neighbors unless the neighbors literally live next door and look, think, and act like them. Love your neighbor demands far more than that!

The prophet Isaiah speaks the word of the Lord which says that even eunuchs and foreigners who keeps the commandments and observances of God are to be included in the covenant community (56:4-7). The sign of God's covenant people is how they embrace and care for those who are not like them. This ethic is foundational for the teachings of Jesus.

Throughout his ministry, Jesus reached out to Samaritans (hated foreigners) and showed compassion for the hurting and marginalized. Jesus was neighbor focused in obedience to God. He gave us a vision for how to organize our public life together. It was an ethic of loving God by loving neighbor because they are inseparable.

What is really on the ballot in this election is not partisan - it is Christian political ethics. We live in a country that is far too privatized where individualism has become a false, idolatrous god we worship. "What's in it for me?" is the overriding American ethic and it is deeply offensive to God. To paraphrase Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., we must learn to live together as family or we will perish together as fools. Individualism is not a Christian ethic - care for community is.

As Christians, we cannot shirk what Jesus taught: Love God and love neighbor. Rather than asking "What's in it for me?" each of us needs to ask "What's in it for you?" and by you, I mean people with whom God is concerned:

• Widows and orphans - including the orphans our government has created with the separation of migrant children from their families
• Sick and Disabled - including millions who are suffering from COVID-19 who have fallen ill because of bad policy, those who suffer from lack of economic opportunity and live in fear of losing their health care
• People of Color - who suffer from systemic racism, poverty, and violence
• Women - who suffer sexual and domestic violence at far higher rates than men and whose dignity to make medical decisions is under threat
• Poor - who are often working but not paid a living wage and are blamed by society for being poor
• LGBTQ+ persons - who live in fear of violence and losing hard won rights for dignity

These are our neighbors whose life and their dignity matter to God. Their life and dignity need to matter to us too. This is what is really on the ballot.

White Supremacy vs. Liberation in Christ

I grew up in California. For the first seven years of my life (1964-1971), I lived in San Diego. The neighborhood I grew up in was in Tecalote Canyon, nestled between the University of San Diego (Jesuit) and St. Mary Magdalene Church Roman Catholic Church. The neighborhood was nicknamed "Vatican Heights" and most of the folks there were Roman Catholic (we and one other family were Lutheran). Our neighborhood had one family of color: the Glorias. They were Latinx. They had a son named David and I would play with him from time to time along with the White kids in the neighborhood ... that is until girls became "icky" to boys and vice versa. It was a time of racial turmoil in our country but as a young child, I was only vaguely aware of what was going on. Life was pretty good from a kid's perspective. I started school in San Diego and we had kids of color there, mostly Latinx, Chinese, and Filipinx.

In 1971, we moved to Concord, California, to a neighborhood called "Pepper Tree." Back then, the BART trains didn't go through and the area was mostly walnut orchards and horse country. It was a suburb of San Francisco with some fairly new housing developments. My dad worked in Walnut Creek, the neighboring town. When we moved there, our neighborhood was all White. We had a couple of families with teenage boys who were troublemakers: especially the Duffy and Schmidt boys. I remember my dad having to deal with their petty vandalism, filing complaints with the police, and nothing much got done. My school was majority White with some minority students. Our minority students were largely the same demographic as San Diego but with some kids from India too. I really hadn't had a close encounter with a Black family until the mid-1970's when the Longs moved in next door.

Bob and Evelyn Long were the first Black couple I ever really got to know. Bob was the Postmaster at the Martinez Post Office. Now, for those of you not familiar with California, Martinez was a huge operation in the USPS, a major distribution center for the mail. This was not some backwater job, it was a significant position. Evelyn was a school principal - I can't remember at what level. They had two college aged kids, so I didn't get to know them very well.

My parents went over to welcome them to the neighborhood and, over the next few years, we got to know each other as well as a Black and White family could given the baggage of our country's history. It seemed normal to me to welcome new neighbors, but I didn't know anything different. I remember my father coming home one day fuming. Apparently, Mr. Schmidt (the father of one of our neighborhood troublemakers) said to my dad, "I heard your new neighbors are N***ers! I'm selling my house and getting out of this place." My dad told him, "Good! What can I do to help you get you and your delinquent kid out?!" That was the first time I saw overt racism directed at a Black person. I saw my father's anger at it too.

I was still a kid and unaware of a lot of things. I remember we would go over to the Long's house for dinner and they would come to ours too. I don't remember details, I just remember these were just like all the other dinners when we had guests over. Mom always knew how to throw a great dinner party and make people feel welcome. One day my mom shared with me a conversation she had with Evelyn. It was a brief encounter and I think it happened in the grocery store. Mom was dressed in very casual clothes and Evelyn, as always, was dressed impeccably and professionally. My mom said something about how amazing she looked (she always did) and how my mom felt under dressed. In a moment of incredible trust and candor, Evelyn told my mom, "I can't go out in anything less to shop, otherwise I'll be followed by store security." That was my first encounter with what I would later be able to name as White privilege.

It's not that I didn't grow up steeped in White supremacy and racism. Of course I did. I'm a White American. But in my context, I encountered it towards Mexicans, Asians, and even my great-grandmother's disparaging of Native Americans (her family were White settlers in Nebraska and South Dakota). I just hadn't been directly exposed to how this impacts Black Americans until then. The fact these memories are still with me almost 50 years later says something.

The events of these past two weeks have once again ripped open the unhealed wound caused by our nation's original sin: White supremacy. This sin was exported from England and every other colonizing power that walked lock step with the Catholic Church's Doctrine of Discovery. In an unholy alliance of Church and State, Northern European traits (Whiteness) became normative and preferred and the subjugation of those who were different was politically, legally, and religiously sanctioned. It is so baked into the character and social order of colonizing countries (the United States included) that we don't even see it if we are White - that is until riots start in the Black community and other communities of color. This is why Black Lives Matter marches have broken out in former colonizing countries: England, Spain, France, Germany. Young people have learned more about this history, but I did not. Anti-racism educator, Jane Elliott, rightly said our social studies classes were actually "anti-social studies" classes because they only highlighted the stories of White men - as if that's they are the only ones who did anything in this country. Check out her video:

I have an obligation to work to dismantle White supremacy if I am to faithfully follow Jesus Christ. Not the White Jesus America portrays in images, but the brown-skinned Jesus who was also lynched by an Empire for disrupting the peace of Rome and shaking the status quo. Liberation in Christ is the message of the Gospel and means equality for all of God's beloved. Don't believe me? Try on some Scripture:

• "Jesus said, 'The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.'" (John 10:10)
• "There is no longer Jew or Greek, there is no longer slave or free, there is no longer male and female; for all of you are one in Christ Jesus." (St. Paul's Letter to the Galatians 3:28)
• "Jesus said, Everything that the Father gives me will come to me, and anyone who comes to me I will never drive away;" (John 6:37)

If we are to take a hint from the world around us, diversity is the plan of God. If Jesus came to bring all people to the Father and bring us life abundantly, how can we be silent or complacent when our BIPOC siblings are suffering? As Paul reminded the Corinthians, "If one member suffers, all suffer together with it; if one member is honored, all rejoice together with it." (1 Corinthians 12:26). God's plan is not the zero sum game of this World. God's plan means we flourish together when every member is honored.

Anti-racism work is hard. It will take the rest of my life. It will take having the courage to engage, to try, to screw up, and to keep trying. It takes willingness to be vulnerable and not get defensive when a Black or Brown person speaks their truth and it clashes with my experience or beliefs or when they call me out for getting it wrong. It takes a lot of listening and understanding that White supremacy isn't my personal fault, not a personal attack, and not a condemnation that I am a bad person because of White supremacy. It's not about us, fellow White people. It's about being the Beloved Community and that can't happen unless Black Lives Matter as much as White ones do.

---

Here are some curated resources I've found helpful:

• The Absalom Jones Episcopal Center for Racial Healing
• CompassPoint.org
• Showing Up for Racial Justice
• PBS - How to Talk to Your Kids about Race

Pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber (ELCA) wrote a very extensive pastoral letter with an awesome list of resources which you can read here.

Christian Subjection to Government Authorities - Misquoting Paul to Serve Caesar

Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions quoted Romans 13 in his justification of the Trump Administration's border policy of separating migrant children from their parents. This passage seems to be a favorite of Christianists who use Christian scriptures in service of the American government. It is a distortion of what Paul likely meant in his exhortation to the Roman Christians. But what did Paul mean and why does his context matter?

First, let's look at Romans 13:1-7 from the New Revised Standard translation:

Let every person be subject to the governing authorities; for there is no authority except from God, and those authorities that exist have been instituted by God. Therefore whoever resists authority resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Do you wish to have no fear of the authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive its approval; for it is God's servant for your good. But if you do what is wrong, you should be afraid, for the authority does not bear the sword in vain! It is the servant of God to execute wrath on the wrongdoer. Therefore one must be subject, not only because of wrath but also because of conscience. For the same reason you also pay taxes, for the authorities are God's servants, busy with this very thing. Pay to all what is due them-- taxes to whom taxes are due, revenue to whom revenue is due, respect to whom respect is due, honor to whom honor is due.

On the surface, this passage seems to say Christians are to obey anything the governing authorities tell them to do. On the surface reading, Jeff Sessions' using this passage to justify migrant separations at the border seems to be supported. Of course, this passage was also used by those who upheld the institution of slavery in the 19th century. It seems this is the "go to" cover for any act of governing authorities, even when those authorities are acting in ways which violate "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" - or even God's commandments in other parts of the Bible. The problem is these verses are being taken out of their original context and distorted in a process we call "proof-texting" - that is, looking for scriptures to justify our ways instead of letting the scriptures move us towards God's ways. If that's the case, what was Paul talking about??

First remember this: being a Christian in 1st century Rome automatically made you a criminal in the eyes of Caesar and the government authorities. That's something we forget in America because Christianity has held a place of privilege in Western Civilization since the Emperor Constantine converted in 313 CE. Christianity became the official religion of the Empire and was co-opted by it even to this day (a good read on this is Meg Gorzycki's Caesar Ate My Jesus: A Baby Boomer's Reflection on Spirituality in the American Empire). In order to really understand Paul, you have to start from the place of being a criminal. Paul was an outlaw follower of a criminal enterprise founded by a convicted Palestinian Jew named Jesus who was crucified by the Romans in collusion with the local religious authorities. Following this movement meant you were against the governing authorities by virtue of your faith and nothing more. If Paul was giving blanket approval to government authorities as one who was branded a criminal by those same authorities, well that just doesn't make much sense, right?

Paul, a Roman citizen who is a criminal by the Empire's definition, is writing this letter to fellow criminals in Rome. Since that's the case, Paul is not saying that the governing authorities are necessarily doing God's will. He is saying God has allowed them to be appointed and whatever they do to you, do not resist. This is a call to radical non-violence. If the governing authorities arrest you and put you to death for being a Christian, so be it and do not resist. Americans have a hard time wrapping their heads around the radical call to submission and non-violence. I once heard Stanley Hauerwas give a lecture on "Luther and War" wherein he said, "American Christians are more American than they are Christian." (Ouch! True but ouch). Living in a place where Christianity is nominally practiced and privileged if it conforms to the government, we struggle to understand Paul in his own context of being a criminal subject to persecution by the governing authorities.

There is also an historical context to these verses having to do with his exhortation to the Romans to pay their taxes. His comments on submission to the governmental authorities is directly tied to the matter of paying taxes. For Jews and early Christians, paying taxes was a troublesome thing because taxes supported the Roman religious cult of Caesar - whom the Romans were to worship as a living, incarnation of the Roman god Zeus. If the Romans worshiped a "god incarnate" in Caesar and Christians proclaimed the Jewish God incarnate was Jesus of Nazareth, we have competing belief systems, don't we? Belief in Jesus was a direct contradiction to worship of Caesar. If Jesus is Lord, Caesar is not. Therefore, to pay taxes to Rome was to commit blasphemy in the eyes of both Jews and early Christians. So questions of paying taxes were fraught with both theological and political implications - something we Americans do not understand.

Tacitus

Because of the tension around paying taxes being blasphemous, Jewish tax protests and riots broke out sporadically. The Roman historian Tacitus (b. 54 CE, d. 120 CE) wrote the history of the Empire in his work The Annals. In it, he spoke of the Emperor Nero putting down tax riots in Puteoli by the dispatch of Roman troops and "a few executions." Paul, writing to the neighboring Romans whom he had never met personally, had the matter of these Puteoli riots on his heart as he crafted his letter. At this stage of Christian history, Jews and Christians often worked closely together and, in the Holy Land, Christianity was known as "The Way of the Nazarene", a fringe sect of Judaism. Paul would have been quite concerned that the Roman Christians would be tempted to get involved in these tax protests because of a shared theological view the taxes were blasphemous.

With this event on Paul's mind, it is likely he wrote these opening lines to Romans 13 to essentially exhort the Roman Christians to stay out of these particular tax protests and riots. After all, if just being Christians makes you outlaws and criminals in the eyes of the government, why bring down Caesar's wrath if you don't have to? Taxes are not the theological hill Paul thinks the Roman Christians should die on so submit to the governmental authorities, pay your taxes, and otherwise keep your nose clean. After all, there is more important work to do for the Kingdom of God.

So the next time someone tells you that Romans 13 instructs Christians to blindly and unquestioningly obey government authorities, even when they are doing ungodly acts, share this with them. It's too bad Jeff Sessions, a member of Ashland United Methodist Church in Mobile, Alabama, didn't do the deep dive into the meaning of this scripture before misusing it.

It's the end of the world as we know it

The stream of consciousness 1987 REM song is a favorite of mine when I preach apocalyptic texts. When I put it into a sermon, I can even get the GenXers singing along. But what happens when the apocalypse is really happening? Will you "feel fine" with the "end of the world as we know it?"

I confess I don't feel very fine right now. There are folks in the evangelical/literalist branch of Christianity who would judge me for this and tell me it's because my faith is weak and it's all in God's plan and then spew some gnostic Rapture heresy at me. Bless their hearts.

No, I don't feel fine because I take the scriptures more seriously than this and I have read and deeply studied the WHOLE book of Revelation which includes two more chapters that evangelicals simply ignore. They stop with the Battle of Armageddon and the defeat of Satan and ignore the next two chapters about the "new heaven" and "new earth" coming towards us and how this earth will be resurrected in a new form.

"What??!!" you ask, "Wait, you mean this earth matters to God??!!"

Well, in short, Revelation says an "YES!" and might even add a "Duh!" for extra emphasis.

This week Greta Thunberg, a remarkable 16 year-old who has been striking from school over the issue of climate change since last year, has been here in America. Greta is on the autism spectrum so she has some behavior quirks that the climate deniers latched onto in order to attempt to discredit her. This was her response:

This young woman shook the pillars of the United Nations with her speech to the climate summit:

And she is right. She should not have to be doing this! We are failing our children. We are failing them because of bad theology, willful stupidity, and corporate greed.

As sentient beings, our sacred texts tell us that we are made in the image of God - the ultimate Sentient Being. Science is telling us the truth about what is happening to our only home. Scientists are using their God-given sentience and intelligence as prophetic witnesses of our greed, our pride and our selfishness. Science is not in opposition to God's will - our greed, pride, and selfishness are the sins which oppose God's will!

Evangelicals who gleefully hope for a destruction of this earth are preaching heresy and are putting God to the test by their recklessness. We are commanded not to test God (Deuteronomy 6:16) and testing God by trashing the earth in hopes you can force the Second Coming is horrible theology. Remember, John 3:16 actually says "For God so love the cosmos" - the whole of God's creation was loved and is why Jesus came so the whole of creation may have eternal life beginning right here and now.

We are partners in defeating the evil we face. God will not magically fix this for us and scripture tells us God's will is for a new heaven and new earth to come to us - it's not a magic "escape plan" for a select few. The evil of sinful greed has been fed by an unsustainable model of capitalistic extraction technologies. It can be redeemed but only if we repent - turn around and seek another way which follows God's will for all to have abundant life. This will require sacrifice. It will not be easy but the alternative won't be easy either.

The earth can and will press the "reset" button on our stupidity. It comes through mass extinction. I don't want to face my children, or anyone's children for that matter, and say, "Well, we didn't do anything about this and it's your problem now." I cannot face anyone and candy-coat this with some story about how believers will be saved from the hellish nightmare of global collapse because it's crappy theology and just not true. The Bible has many stories of how God let the chosen people live with the consequences of their actions to the point of suffering and death.

Jesus followers, it's time we stand up against forces which are killing our planet. Every single one of us has the capacity to act in our own sphere of influence. Yesterday was the first day of Autumn and it was 92 degrees in Ellicott City, Maryland. This is not normal and the time has passed for "business as usual." The "end of the world as we know it" is here, but it does not have to conclude with the destruction of the earth - the greatest gift our God has given us.

... I was a stranger and you welcomed me ... Matthew 25:35

Just four days after my ordination to the priesthood in February 2008, on Shrove Tuesday, I had to make a difficult call to my bishop informing him that the mission congregation I was leading was likely going to close. I hadn't counted on my first call out of seminary turning into a hospice chaplaincy for fifteen faithful souls who had run out of money, energy and time - but here we were. The congregation entered a focused discernment and by Holy Week they had come to the conclusion that staying together was not the faithful option. We stopped worshiping as a community on Good Friday - the quintessential day for a death and burial.

Thankfully, the members of that community found homes in other churches and most even remained in the Episcopal Church. But for me as a newly ordained priest, this was not the optimal vocational move. Closing a church is every clergy's worst nightmare and having this as my first "resume item" had some pretty bad optics. Even though I was a "second vocation" priest having 38 years of Episcopal experience in ministry, I was still a "rookie priest" and it was 2008 ... remember what happened that year? By fall, the financial markets had collapsed and we were in a worldwide recession - honestly it was an economic depression but nobody likes to speak that truth.

Unemployed, and in the eyes of some unemployable, I was considering option of leaving the ministry already. Who knows? Maybe God's plan was to call me to close a congregation and then I was done. Maybe God was mad at me for something. Maybe I needed to go back to the choir and hang out there. Looking back, this was not my faith talking but my fears - it's what happens when you're unemployed. But I kept getting up and I kept showing up, mostly through the summer doing clergy supply - thank God for my fellow priests who needed vacations!

One September day, I decided to show up at the Frederick Ministerial meeting at Frederick Presbyterian Church. It was there that I reconnected with Pastor Ken Dunnington of Calvary United Methodist Church in Frederick. We hadn't seen each other in awhile and he asked if I was still in search for a new call.

"Yes, but things aren't looking too good," I replied.

"Well, I may have something for you. Would you consider something part-time?"

"Sure. Part-time beats no time."

And that's how, on All Saints Day, I was called to be the part-time Visitation Pastor at Calvary United Methodist Church in Frederick, Maryland. I also concurrently served a very part-time interim position at St. Luke's in the City in southwest Baltimore and a brief stint at my home parish - and I learned how two part-time calls are harder than one full-time one ... but I digress. My role as Visitation Pastor was to call on the home bound members of Calvary and bring them Holy Communion. In addition, I made hospital calls, preached on occasion and presided at many funerals. I served there for about a year after which I left for full-time employment as a chaplain at a local hospice - no question that my time at Calvary prepared me for that call.

During my pastorate at Calvary, I came to know many people whom I love and cherish as fellow pilgrims in the Jesus Movement and I came to more deeply appreciate the Wesleys - their passion for social justice, their deep commitment to the practice of praying the Daily Offices and regular reception of Holy Communion (they were the "high church Anglicans" back at the time of the Reformation), the beauty of their hymnody and music. I made some lasting friendships and ministry colleagues in Pastor Ken and his wife Sandy, Pastor Eliezar Valentin-Castenon and his family, Pastors Kate Heflin and Sarah Schliekert, Pastor Ray Moreland, and my predecessor (who would later become my successor) Pastor Harry Cole. This was all in addition to the remarkable staff and members who lived their Christian faith not only in the congregation but in the world. Like all churches, it had its ups and downs as we followed Jesus imperfectly and clumsily trying to be the Beloved Community and be the gospel in the world; but overall, I experienced a genuine and loving community filled with sanctifying grace.

In truth, I was a stranger and they welcomed me, this displaced Anglo-Catholic priest. I danced to a syncopated leitmotif in the UMC liturgy. I crossed myself during the Creed, bowed my head at the Name of Jesus, and when I gave the blessing made the unabashed (and rather large) sign of the cross over the congregation - and overall it was cool with them. When the Book of Worship was just so close in wording to the Book of Common Prayer (but not quite) that I stumbled, they were patient with me. When I prayed in "collect form" rather than a longer pastoral prayer - they accepted it. In turn, they taught me all the alto parts of the Wesleyan hymns, what it felt like to have your heart "strangely warmed", encouraged my preaching and teaching, and to be accepted as a "stranger in a strange land." I hold deep and lasting gratitude for my year long sojourn in the United Methodist Church.

This is why my heart is breaking for them this morning. Yesterday, their 2019 General Conference concluded after rejecting a way forward over the matter of full inclusion of LGBTQ members. The One Church proposal would have given local congregations the ability to make the decision about full inclusion of the LGBTQ community. This proposal failed in favor of the Traditional Plan which asserts that same-sex unions are incompatible with scripture and clergy in same-sex relationships and marriages are subject to discipline/removal. The unicameral, worldwide polity of the UMC is weighted the vote in favor of a very conservative approach as African and Asian churches have equal voice and are more conservative in their views of same-sex relationships. Today, many of my UMC friends are feeling like strangers in their own church but sadly not welcomed.

St. Paul spoke of he Church as the Body of Christ and said, "If one members suffers, all suffer together..." (1 Corinthians 12:26a). Today, one member is suffering and we all suffer together. Conferences and legislative processes can be antithetical to building community. Disciplinary measures and proof-texting of Scripture can become weapons used to purge the Church of people whose presence makes us uncomfortable - and all the while Jesus weeps.

My heart aches because my own Episcopal Church is no stranger to these kinds of divisions. We have been wracked by the same forces and arguments the UMC is now experiencing. We too have been the targets of the Institute for Religion and Democracy (which I would argue is neither for democracy or religion but rather a thinly veiled Christian Taliban promoting a narrowly interpreted theocracy) and we know what money and partisan politics can do to the Body of Christ. We have experienced the forces which would rend us asunder and the broken relationships which result. We grieve with you today and hold you in prayer.

So for my friends in the UMC on both sides of this painful issue, I am praying. For those who would exclude LGBTQ folk from ministry based on your interpretation of scripture, I pray your hearts may be soften (dare I say "strangely warmed") to listen deeply and humbly to the LGBTQ community remembering Jesus had much to say about self-righteousness (spoiler alert: none of it was good) that you may see there are other ways of interpreting scripture and that these beloved are created in the image of God as much as you are. For those in the LGBTQ community and your allies: I pray for healing grace to soothe your pain, to remember your are beloved of God, to remember the Church and Jesus are not one in the same, and that you may find rest for your souls no matter where Christ leads you in the future.

When I was a stranger, you welcomed me. I pray you find the way to welcome each other in the love of Christ.

Michelle Wolf, Crass Speech and the Prophetic Tradition

The Twittersphere has been on fire after the White House Correspondents Dinner and comedian Michelle Wolf's acerbic truth telling. I'm a little late to this party as I've been reflecting on her words, the broad reactions, and in particular the reactions of fellow Christians. I've been watching many Christians expressing offense at her "crassness", her "language", her "mean spirited attacks" and how "unchristian" this all is. Meanwhile ...

Flint still doesn't have clean water and Sarah Huckabee Sanders still lies.

What is annoying to this priest is how pearl-clutching Christians have such utter ignorance of the crass language in the prophetic tradition of their own Bible. Don't believe me? Well, sit back and hold onto those pearls.

Let's look at Isaiah - the prophet who spoke hard truth to the leaders of Israel who wanted to "Make Jerusalem Great Again" while exploiting the poor and oppressing the foreigner (sound familiar?). Isaiah to told them to knock this off or they would be destroyed and then said, "See, I told you!" when Jerusalem was sacked (SparkNotes version). Of course, later he spoke of restoration, but there was a whole lot of judgement and truth telling first. Consider Isaiah 64:6:

But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.

The underlined words in Hebrew mean "menstruation covering". That's right - the bloody, discarded rags women once used in the "pre-Stayfree" days.

Now before you get all caught up in your own "EWWWW GROSS!!" reaction to that (and no, menstruation isn't gross, but that's another post), think about how Isaiah's original audience would have reacted. It was crass. It was rude. It was offensive language in polite society - and that's exactly what telling the truth is. Was it mean? Perhaps. Was it provocative? Absolutely. Provocative speech is the realm of prophetic when it wakes you up and gets you out of your spiritually anesthetized state. Did Isaiah's hearers get pissed off at him? Very likely.

Now let's turn to Paul, the prolific letter writer of early Christianity. He wrote a letter to a little church in the city of Philippi. In that letter he trotted out his Jewish pedigree:

...circumcised on the eighth day, a member of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew born of Hebrews; as to the law, a Pharisee; as to zeal, a persecutor of the church; as to righteousness under the law, blameless. (Philippians 3:5-6)

Yeah, sounds like he was pretty impressed with his CV, but then he says this:

For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ ... (Philippians 3:8b)

Only ...

He didn't say "rubbish". Going back to the Greek, he said (pearl clutch trigger warning):

For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things, and I regard them as shit, in order that I may gain Christ ...

OMG! Paul said "shit"???!!! Absolutely he did and if you didn't know that, it's because your sanitized English translation cleaned up Paul to make him presentable for your delicate sensibilities. That Greek word skubala only occurs one other time, in the apocryphal book Jesus, Son of Sirach and it still means shit.

Was that offensive? Maybe. Paul was, after all, writing to a church full of ex-military guys so maybe they just got a good laugh out of that in church. Was it provocative? Absolutely. He was making it clear he had totally changed in Christ. I kind of miss my seminary professor who charged us to read this passage from Philippians in seminary chapel just as it was written because, "You'll never get away with that in any church."

Which brings me to the problem. Christians who don't understand the role of crass language in the prophetic tradition failed to see the truth-telling Michelle Wolf did. They get caught up in her style and totally missed her substance. Did I like everything she said? No. I thought her crack about abortion was cavalier and showed a lack of respect for life (and FWIW, I believe abortion should be safe, legal and rare - but that's another blog post). BUT, she did some serious truth telling to an utterly morally bankrupt power structure whose lies and corruption are undermining our democracy.

Michelle Wolf had the nerve to speak truth to the compulsive lies Sarah Huckabee Sanders tells to cover up a president who is anything but a Christian. She had the audacity to call out the press for its complicity in using the antics of President Trump to sell papers, because if it bleeds it leads. If you as a Christian are more upset with Michelle Wolf because she was "crass" and "mean" than you are with the moral bankruptcy of our political leaders and their phony-ass Nationalism wrapped in a paper-thin veneer of Jesus talk, then you are part of what is wrong with the Church right now. You are seriously misunderstanding the call to speak truth to power. Perhaps you want a Jesus who won't challenge, provoke and upset you. Let me remind you that people who don't challenge, provoke or upset others never get crucified.

Jesus taught us the truth will set us free but he neglected to add that first it will piss you off.

The problem of nostalgia

We're now about 12 weeks into the new Trump Republican administration and the rhetoric and vitriol have not slowed down, especially on social media. We are a divided people and it's not getting better. The name-calling and viciousness in both directions is painful. Families are divided and not speaking to each other. Partisanship has wreaked havoc on a people who once all called themselves "American." Elected politicians now believe they only have to cater to (or perhaps pander to) the constituencies who elected them and they have no obligation to represent those who did not vote for them. After all, those people are "losers" (in the words of our Republican President), so why should anyone listen to them?

As a student of history, theology and business (the latter was my first degree and I owned a business prior to ordination), I see this Republican president tapping a sense of nostalgia for an America around 1950: back when things were "great" (at least for straight, white men) and "prosperous." Well, America was #1 in manufacturing & trade in the 1950's and that did support our job base; however, many forget the primary reason we were #1 was because we had NO competition - all of our potential competitors' infrastructures had been destroyed by a world war. It's easy to be #1 when there is nobody else competing with you! In sports, we'd call it a forfeiture.

What we seem to ignore is this fact: time does not move backward. It never has and never will. The globalism train has left the station and those left behind on the platform want it to come back so they can get a "do over." This will not happen. Our economies are intertwined on so many levels with other countries, robotics has displaced more workers than foreigners and off-shoring jobs ever did, and the kinds of jobs being created are different from the 1950's. No matter how nostalgic people want to be, the fact remains you cannot turn back time.

We have also experienced a devolving in our governance. We are now no longer a representative democracy. We are now an oligarchy, governance by a ruling class, and that ruling class are the plutocrats, the extremely wealthy who support unmanaged capitalism because it works for them (and largely only for them). This is the natural course of political evolution when you don't properly manage a capitalistic system.

So Trump's supporters are angry. They are angry about "jobs" and the foreigners they blame for "taking our jobs". They are angry at "the elites" but rarely do they seem to connect those "elites" with the policies they created which have exploited the working class: like dismantling labor rights and protections and creating tax policies which threw the working class a small bone while the wealthy made out like bandits. Trump supporters are grieving what they perceive to be the loss of "America" as they knew it ... or perhaps as they never really knew it because younger Trump supporters were not even alive in the 1950's (I admit I wasn't alive then either ... I was born in the early 60's).

I recall theologian Walter Bruggemann saying in a lecture I attended, "Grief, when it is not processed well, turns to violence." I think this is what is happening in our country. There is grief on both sides of this election and it has turned into violence because we are not addressing it at all. It turns into violence in our words with name-calling and threats. Those who support this president disagree by lashing out with words like "libtard", "snowflake" and other derisive comments like "get over it" and "you lost." Rather than seeing those "libtards" and "snowflakes" as fellow Americans who also care about their country, Trump supporters seem to be bent on the utter destruction of anyone who disagrees with them.

Now I won't claim the "libtards" and "snowflakes" always take the "high moral ground" either. Nope. They can descend into name-calling like anyone else because they are human, not divine. But guess what? Those "libtards" and "snowflakes" also care about their country and they are grieving too. Contrary to what Trump supporters may believe, they are not grieving because "Hillary lost." They are grieving the dismantling of hard won rights protecting the masses (read WORKERS ... you know, the 99% of us who are not plutocrats). They are grieving environmental destruction by business which will bring back the polluted water and air that plagued our country in the 1960's and 1970's. They are grieving the return of a two-tiered education system which will favor the rich and leave the working class behind.

Why were things "great" in the 1950's - that time for which Trump and his supporters seem to long? Well, in addition to the opening premise of my post about lack of competition, consider this: the 1950's reaped the benefits of Roosevelt's socialistic economic policies. Yeah, I said "socialistic" because they are. Things like Social Security, Medicare, the G.I. Bill that let thousands of returning soldiers get a college education without bankrupting their families, worker's rights laws demanding a 40 hour workweek and overtime pay when you had to work overtime. All of those benefits and regulations came from a populist form of socialist democracy (the form of governance throughout Western Europe) and benefited WORKERS. These are the kinds of things "libtards" and "snowflakes" want for America and they are angry that over the last 40 years, our country has been moving backwards and the WORKERS are being exploited once again. The Bible has a lot to say about the exploitation of people for the gain of a few. The prophetic writings of Amos, Jeremiah, Isaiah and the teachings of Jesus are clear: God does NOT favor the wealthy but has preference for the poor and oppressed. Unfortunately, since the 1950's, America has heard a "prosperity theology" that says God blesses the rich with more wealth - this is heresy and is not in the Bible. The Biblical message is clear that God favors the righteous and wealth is dangerous because it has the corrosive effect of idolatry which makes people selfish, greedy and prone to exploiting others.

The problem of nostalgia is that we put on our "rose colored glasses" and believe if we could "just go back" to when things were "great," all would be well and our problems would be solved. The truth is, nostalgia makes us look at the past with a revisionist view which conflates the good and ignores the problems of those past times (things like segregation, laws relegating women to chattel status, and the persecution of the LGBT community). It's a longing for a time which really never was and never can be.

Staying mired in nostalgia and allowing that to fuel a misplaced anger towards other human beings rather than address the policies which have grossly enriched a few at the expense of many will be a path to destruction. History tells us destruction of our empire may very well be inevitable: all empires fall and we will be no exception to that rule. As Christians, we are not to allow the dividing lines of partisan politics to divide and enslave us to the powers of this world. We are to look forward, not backward with nostalgia. We are to be in this world but not of it and we have an obligation to follow the Biblical teachings and show God's care for the poor, marginalized and oppressed. Nostalgia is not the way of Jesus.

The morning after the night before - 2016 Election

This day after the 2016 election is a day of emotional and spiritual extremes. To those who supported Donald Trump: congratulations on your candidate winning the election. It is one thing to win an election, it is quite another to win hearts and trust. Unfortunately, for over half of our country, our trust has been shaken and our hearts have been wounded deeply by the language and actions of our president-elect. I know the Democratic candidate engaged in inappropriate name-calling too and her supporters have had their fair share of nasty Facebook posts making fun of you. For the record, you are not deplorable – you are children of God just like me.

As a priest, there is nothing more important to me than following the teachings of Jesus and one of his most important teachings was about forgiveness and reconciliation. I’ve heard from some Trump supporters today saying we just need to “reconcile and move forward.” In time that may be possible and I do pray for it. But in the Christian tradition, reconciliation cannot come before forgiveness and there is one thing that stands as a big barrier to forgiveness: pride. The reason pride stands in the way is because it keeps us from repenting and showing sorrow for the wounds we inflict. Repenting means acknowledging the real hurt and harm we do to others – both in words and deeds – and taking steps to turn around and make a change which will bring healing. When people cannot admit their wrongs, it only leads to bitterness and resentment on the part of those who are hurt. It makes forgiveness very hard and for some impossible – and without forgiveness, there will be no reconciliation.

So here I go: for those who felt hurt by my words and actions, I am sorry. While I have tried to “go high” and stay focused on the issues I feel are gospel issues, I confess I have bit my tongue and harbored some very unkind thoughts. My words at times have been sharper than I intended. I’m not proud of that, but I know where it comes from – fear and hurt. Not just personal fear and hurt, but fear and hurt for the people on the margins of our society: people of color, LGBTs, the disabled, the poor, and the mentally ill.

I still believe passionately in the inclusion of all people, the equality of women before God, that Black Lives Matter (which doesn’t mean other lives don’t matter), LGBTQ people are beloved of God and deserve all the rights I enjoy, that health care is a right and not a privilege for the wealthy, women need to be able to make personal choices about all aspects of their lives including the circumstances of pregnancy without outside intrusion, that immigrants enrich our lives more than they threaten them, that the rural poor need to be heard and not left behind, and our Earth needs our protection not our exploitation. I will not change my position on those things – they are bedrock for me and come out of my experience of the teachings of Jesus. I will still be preaching about that and standing for those values – they are gospel values.

To those of you who voted for Hillary Clinton (or any of the other candidates), please go high. Don’t continue the name-calling or post hateful Facebook memes or Tweet more ugliness. Go high. Do not let this make you bitter or cynical. Grieve, yes by all means grieve; but after your tears are spent, move forward and seek to understand the people who voted for Trump. They are not all “bad hombres” – they are scared like you. Let’s find some common ground on what our shared fears are and then move to work on them.

Now, to those of you who voted for Donald Trump, what is your next move? Will you renounce the hate speech, the violence directed at minorities, LGBT, Muslims, Jews, immigrants, disabled persons and women? Will you stand in solidarity with us in calling this out and demand that our president-elect repent of the evil words and actions he has done? Will you demand equality for all Americans, not just those who are like you? Or will you dig in your heels with a “to the victor go the spoils” attitude? If you choose the last path, do not expect forgiveness soon, if ever, and reconciliation will never come. The next move is yours.

We're all gaming the system

I found myself in a conversation recently with a couple of people on the Appalachian Trail. The AT is one of those places where I can go and nobody has to know I'm a priest. We all look the same in cargo shorts, t-shirts, and hiking boots. My conversation partners were a man and woman - she was the ridge runner for that section of the trail and a fellow Episcopalian and he turned out to be a stockbroker and devout Roman Catholic. The conversation turned to economic and social issues and especially the plight of the poor in our country.

Our stockbroker went on about how poor people "game the system." I asked him to unpack what he meant by that. He told us he had a friend who owned a McDonald's franchise which pays minimum wage to its employees. His friend told him that a number of these employees will work up until early December and then quit their jobs so that they will not lose their eligibility for food stamps and Medicaid. This clearly angered our companion and he went on about how they were "gaming the system" at the expense of hard working guys like him.

So I asked him a question: "Have you ever sold securities at the end of the year at a loss to offset your capital gains and lower the amount of taxes you pay?" He replied, "That's different." I told him I didn't ask if it was different, I asked him if he ever did. He said, "Well, of course. That's just good business. Besides, that's perfectly legal." I agreed with him that it was good business and perfectly legal, but it was also gaming the system - albeit a different part of the system.

I continued, "So what makes your legal maneuver to lower your tax liability to your financial advantage any different from a poor person quitting their job in order to protect their own financial interests? Especially in light of the fact that quitting your job is perfectly legal too ... Lincoln freed the slaves you know." He conceded that I had a point.

Accusing the poor of "gaming the system" to gain financial advantage while simultaneously denying the ways wealthier people game the system through tax breaks, loopholes, and business losses is hypocrisy. It's a demonization of the most vulnerable among us while rationalizing our own self-righteousness ... the very behavior Jesus condemned.

You cannot serve two masters - the NRA, gun owners and corporate interests

Jesus said: "No one can serve two masters; for a slave will either hate the one and love the other, or be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and wealth." - Luke 16:13, Matthew 6:24

This teaching of Jesus is about divided loyalties, especially when those loyalties lie at cross-purposes with each other. Serving "wealth" is to serve the self to the exclusion of others. Serving God is about serving others. You can't have it both ways.

But in the wake of yet another mass shooting, this one at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando targeting the LGBTQ community, it seems long past time to unmask the divided loyalties at cross-purposes with each other going on within the National Rifle Association.

First a disclaimer

I am not a gun owner. I can think of a few limited circumstances under which I would be, but they don't apply to my context. I'm not a sport shooter. I have engaged in this activity in my past, but frankly, I never really found it that appealing. It's just not my thing.

My sister is a gun owner and a member of the National Rifle Association. She and her husband own several guns, including an AR-15. She is a registered nurse with a Masters degree in Nursing (my Masters is in Divinity). She and her husband are truly responsible gun owners who know their weapons, secure them properly and are all in favor of reasonable gun legislation which would close the loopholes of current laws. We've had some heated but reasonable discussions about requiring licensing of gun owners, passing physical and mental health screenings, requiring periodic training, and liability insurance - we're in agreement on all of those things.

Finally, while my sister and I are on differing sides of owning guns, our father is a survivor of an accidental shooting when he was a teenager. His friend took down his father's supposedly unloaded service revolver to show it to my dad and it fired hitting our dad in the leg. This was an accident caused by a gun owner's irresponsibility in storing his weapon.

Now an observation

The National Rifle Association claims to be the voice of responsible gun owners and to be promoting the safe use of firearms. This is partially true. They have sponsored educational programs on proper use and security of firearms. As Business Inside pointed out in 2013:

"In its early days, the National Rifle Association was a grassroots social club that prided itself on independence from corporate influence" ("How the Gun Industry Funnels Tens of Millions of Dollars to the NRA", Walter Hickey, Business Insider, January 16, 2013) 

But no more. The NRA has made millions of dollars through their corporate sponsorship programs. In addition, millions of dollars are funneled in by the likes of Crimson Trace (which makes laser sights) who donates 10% of their sales to the NRA, Sturm & Ruger who donates $1 to the NRA for every gun they sell, and Taurus who buys a membership for anyone who buys their guns. The NRA makes an approximate 7-10% of their revenues from advertising for gun manufacturers. According to A-Mark Foundation, 50.5% of the revenue funding the NRA comes directly from their memberships - which means 49.5% comes from the corporate interests of gun and gun related manufacturers.

And this is where Jesus' teaching comes in. No one can serve two masters. The interests of public safety with respect to responsible gun use are at cross-purposes with the corporate profit motives of those who sell guns and gun-related equipment. Corporations will always seek to sell their products with a minimum amount of regulatory interference so they can make the most money - that's the profit motive. Gun regulations, even reasonable ones, threaten to reduce the sale of guns and are a direct threat to corporate profits. The NRA is trying to serve two masters and corporate interests are winning its soul!

It is long past time for the responsible gun owning members of the National Rifle Association to take back their organization from the corporate interests who have hijacked it in service to money. The American people, whether gun owning or not, have had enough! Our people are dying because we are putting selfishness and greed ahead of reason and civility.

Come on responsible gun owners! We are on your side here - let's work together to save lives and protect rights. These are not mutually exclusive goals.

Another day, another shooting ...

How long, O LORD? will you forget me for ever? *
how long will you hide your face from me?

How long shall I have perplexity in my mind, and grief in my heart, day after day? *
how long shall my enemy triumph over me?

Look upon me and answer me, O LORD my God; *
give light to my eyes, lest I sleep in death;

Lest my enemy say, "I have prevailed over him," *
and my foes rejoice that I have fallen.

(Psalm 13:1-4)

How long indeed? I write again today in the aftermath of another senseless shooting - 9 college students dead plus the shooter. Roseburg, Oregon this time - a small town not unlike where I live. There have been 74 mass shootings at schools since December 14, 2012 when Adam Lanza opened fire at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown CT killing 20 children and 6 adults. Mass shootings have become so routine, I am beginning to forget all the places - Aurora CO, Isla Vista CA, Santee CA, Blacksburg VA, Fort Hood TX, Carson City NV, Seal Beach CA, Charleston SC ... and the list goes on.

We have turned into a country which is worshiping a new Baal - guns, the NRA and the 2nd Amendment. And not the 2nd Amendment as originally intended by our Founding Fathers, but a radical distortion of the original intent which has made it easy for guns to get into the hands of violent and/or mentally fragile people. This is idolatry and part of what Presiding Bishop elect Michael Curry calls the "Unholy Trinity" - poverty, racism and guns.

Our Bible study group at Grace Church is working through the Book of Revelation. Why? Because the regulars in our Bible study group said they found Revelation to be the most frightening book in the Bible. We are reading this together and learning that far from frightening, Revelation is a book of great promise and hope. It is also an indictment against the empires of this world. In John of Patmos' case, this was Rome (which he disguises by calling it Babylon). Revelation says that the powers of this world which corrupt and destroy God's people and creation are doomed and the reign of the Lamb of God has the last word. Our allegiance as Christians, therefore, is not to any power of this world, but to Christ alone.

I am a Christian first. My allegiance to country falls behind that. At times, my faith supports what the government by the people does. At other times, I stand in opposition to the United States of America. I believe my faith calls me to respect the dignity of every human being - part of that is respecting the right of others to live in peace without fear of gun violence destroying their lives. The unfettered and poorly regulated access to guns must stop.

I know I will offend the NRA apologists and those who support the more recent distortions of the 2nd Amendment with my words. If my words offend you, I ask why you are not offended by dead bodies bleeding on a church floor, a theater floor, or a classroom floor? How many children are you willing to stand by and see slaughtered to protect unfettered access to firearms? How many police officers do you want to see shot because they are outgunned on our own streets by inconsistent gun regulations?

Christians cannot bow down to worship this Baal anymore and silence is complicity. As a priest, I deal with the aftermath of violence - I and my fellow clergy are tired of picking up the fragments of what's left when the bullets stop flying. If our prayers do not lead us to action, they are empty and vain. Reasonable, consistent gun regulations including background checks and the ability to remove firearms from those who have proven by their actions to be mentally unstable or violent is no threat to responsible gun ownership. We don't need more prayers and sympathy - we need legislation and we need it now.

How long, O Lord? How long?

It hasn't been a very quiet week in the news, both secular and sacred. SCOTUS cleared the way for same-sex marriages to be recognized in all 50 states thus upholding the 14th Amendment's guarantee to equal protection under the law for our sisters and brothers in SS relationships. Now the Episcopal Church followed suit at their triennial General Convention with opening up the marriage rites for SS couples and removing gender specific language. A robust parental leave policy was passed by our General Convention bringing justice to families having children. Money was allocated to new church starts and advocacy for women serving the church. I celebrate and give thanks for all these developments. But as an ordained woman, there is, in the words of Jesus, "one thing lacking." We still, as a Church, bow to the conscience clause.

While this is a bit of "insider baseball" to the Episcopal Church, it has serious ramifications for ordained women. We have ordained women for almost 40 years and, when women's ordination was originally approved in 1976, a "conscience clause" was put in place allowing bishops who did not agree with women's ordination to refuse to:

• Ordain women
• Allow congregations under their jurisdiction to call a woman priest

This allowed the Episcopal Church to be the "big tent" it historically has been in accommodating disagreement and holding the tension.

In 1997, the "conscience clause" was technically repealed. Technically. Bishops could no longer refuse ordination to women just because they were ... women. Technically. They also could not prevent a church from calling a woman priest to serve them. Technically. But there are ways around this letter of the law. Like still refusing to ordain women but directing them to a "friendly diocese" or a "friendly bishop." Like not promoting qualified women for calls to churches and not hiring them for diocesan positions even though they are eminently qualified.

Those who oppose women's ordination to the priesthood base their foundational argument on two points. First, a woman cannot stand "in persona Christi" (in the person of Christ) at the altar due to their chromosomal make up. The counter argument is that Christ is not the same as the human Jesus of Nazareth (who we affirm as the human embodiment of the Christ of God). Christ consciousness is not limited by biological limitations. It is found in Spirit and in Truth ... and among women and men.

The second point is that Jesus never called women as disciples - he only called 12 men. Well, that's true. But if we step out of gender for a moment and apply that argument in a different way, its foolishness becomes evident. Jesus never called any Asian, Black, Latino or ... wait for it ... White men either! Jesus called Palestinian Jews as his inner circle. If we apply the logic based on ethnicity, then most of our House of Bishops should immediately resign. Clearly, that's not going to happen and it sounds utterly racist and ridiculous. So if it is bigoted to apply the logic based on race, why is it acceptable to apply it to gender or sexual orientation?

I hope one day we can truly repeal the "conscience clause" once and for all. Getting off on technicalities isn't edifying the Body of Christ. It's time ... 40 years is long enough ... too long actually.

We are not meant to live alone

My mom started growing African violets when I was a kid. We had a number of them in her garden window in California. I now have several in a south facing window in our home in a garden tray my husband gave me for Christmas one year. They bloom constantly - even through the winter which brings color to our home in an otherwise colorless time.

This little African violet came to me last December. It had been left behind by its previous owner and wasn't in the best shape. The leaves were small and discolored and there were no signs of any blooms on it at all.

But you can see things have changed for it. There are still a few discolored leaves, but now there is new growth and today it bloomed. What changed?

It would be low hanging fruit to say it was the difference in care between the prior owner and me ... but that's not the case at all. I generally have a "brown thumb" ... I'm really not good with most plants. The difference is the environment.

African violets are "social" plants. They flourish when grouped together and wither when isolated from others. Here are this little violet's "tray mates":

These little plants teach us about ourselves. We are not meant to be isolated from the wider community. When we isolate, we wither ... we get small and we get selfish. We refuse to see that our own flourishing and growth requires us to be part of a larger community ... a community where there is commonality AND diversity (notice not all of these violets are pink!).

This has been a hard week for my sisters and brothers in Baltimore. Tensions have erupted between the largely impoverished African American neighborhoods on the west side and the police over the death of Freddie Gray. I have seen people of all races coming together to seek justice as well as the frustrations of years of being unheard erupting in looting and violence. I have seen withered small hearts isolated from these harsh realities passing judgment on social media - people who fail to see that their flourishing has resulted from the very system which has impoverished so many. As folk singer Pete Seeger once noted: "The rich are rich because the poor are poor."

There is an ancient Zulu word: Ubuntu. There is no simple translation of this word but as Archbishop Desmond Tutu explained, it's essence means "I am because of you" ... or "I am who I am because I am bound up in you." Our lives are connected! We do not live in isolation - what happens in Baltimore affects all of us: regardless of anything which appears to divide us. Ubuntu speaks to our need for true community. This is not just surrounding ourselves with like-minded people who look like you, share your values, socio-economic class, and world view. This means building real community and connecting ourselves to people whose lives are radically different from you. It means listening to and learning from the experiences of those who do not see the world as you or I do. It means honoring them as sisters and brothers in Christ knowing that any system which raises some up at the expense of others is not of God and is not, in the long run, sustainable in any meaningful way.

St. Paul speaks of this in 1 Corinthians 12 when he describes us as the Body of Christ. He said:

The eye cannot say to the hand, "I do not need you." Or the head cannot say to the feet, "I do not need you."

We need each other to become what God wants us to be ... just like this little violet needed others to truly become what it could be.

Wounding the weak conscience - Alcohol and the Episcopal Church

The epistle in this week's lectionary reading for Epiphany 4B is a selection from the 8th chapter of Paul's first letter to the Corinthians addressing the subject of eating meat sacrificed to idols. Admittedly, lifting this directly from the Bible into our 21st century context is a bit baffling to those of us hearing this in the pew (whether lay or ordained). After all, we do not live in a culture steeped in religious sacrificial systems anymore. Nobody's heading down to the Temple of Zeus to sample the brisket offered in his honor. But in a bigger sense, Paul is saying something very important to our Church today with respect to our mutuality and responsibility towards each other.

The Episcopal Church is facing this very issue with respect to the issue of alcohol. Heather Cook, bishop suffragan of Maryland, was driving on December 27, 2014 with a .22 blood alcohol content and, while texting, hit and killed cyclist, husband and father, Tom Palermo. This was not Cook's first DUI. Her first was in 2010 when she was serving as a priest and Canon to the Ordinary (which is kind of like the bishop's "chief of staff"). When pulled over, her blood alcohol content was .27. She was so intoxicated in that incident, the field sobriety test had to be stopped due to concerns about her safety. There are other unsavory details in the police report from that first incident which have been widely reported.

The 2010 arrest was the first time Heather was caught drinking and driving. But, with a .27 BAC, it was not her first time drinking nor was it just "a glass of wine over the limit." In the words of the AAs in my home group - "she was shitfaced!" One does not drink their way to a .27 and still be conscious without having built up a serious tolerance level to the drug of ethyl alcohol. However, people who don't work with alcoholics or do not suffer from the addiction largely have no clue what BAC numbers mean and how they can be indicative of addiction.

In May 2014, Heather Cook was elected bishop suffragan - just a scant 4 years after her first DUI for which she received probation before judgement (very common on a first offense). Both criminal and church investigations are underway and many more details, both about Heather's high-functioning binge alcoholism and the many small failures in our search process which elected her, are coming to light.

Heather Cook is responsible for the death of Tom Palermo. Period. She showed poor judgement because of her addiction and chose to drink and drive. This could have happened if she had been a bishop or a bricklayer.

What the Church is responsible for is providing the enabling system to cover up their alcoholic leaders (both ordained and lay). The Church is an alcoholic family system. It is because so many of us come from alcoholic families and bring those behavior dynamics into our church. Alcoholic families have several behavioral traits:

• Rigidity - alcoholic families are rigid due to being a highly anxious system. As the alcoholic gets more unpredictable, the family members compensate by imposing rigid rules on everyone else.
• Silence - nobody talks about the alcoholic's addiction or behaviors. Truth tellers are bullied into silence or destroyed through behind the back rumors and character assassination (known as triangulation - and alcoholics are masters of this!)
• Numbness - alcoholic family members are not allowed to have feelings. Better to numb the feelings, either by using alcohol or by repressive coping, than admitting what hurts.

These traits set up an enabling system which allows the alcoholic to persist in drinking and which will, along with the alcoholic, rationalize, minimize, hide and explain away the addicted behavior rather than confronting it and dealing with it. Anyone who breaks the rules by telling the truth pays a high price and will be targeted for elimination. This is why denial is such a powerful part of the alcoholic game.

Which is why, in the midst of all of this mess, the House of Deputies of the Episcopal Church is celebrating the 75th anniversary of the Episcopal Relief and Development Fund. As part of this fundraising effort, the Steering Committee in charge of the celebration announced on January 6, 2015:

Just to sweeten the pot, here is an incentive: Deputy William Miller of the Diocese of Hawaii, author of The Beer Drinker's Guide to God,” will host a beer tasting at the Beer Hive Pub in Salt Lake City during General Convention for the deputation that raises the most money in the campaign. The winning deputation will be announced during the first legislative day of the House of Deputies at General Convention.

You can read the whole release here.

Not only does this action appear utterly tone deaf in light of the Bishop Cook incident, it also appears to be a violation of the General Convention's own rules regarding alcohol at church functions. The 68th General Convention of 1985 passed a resolution regarding alcohol which, in part, stated: "The service of alcoholic beverages at church events should not be publicized as an attraction of the event." What gives?

I do not advocate banning alcohol outright; however, it is time to acknowledge our family's alcohol problem: from our church's reputation as "Whiskey-palians," to the many jokes about alcohol in the Church, to our systemic enabling of actively alcoholic leaders who continue to damage themselves and the people in their charge. This is wounding the Body of Christ. While it is the responsibility of the alcoholic not to drink, are we placing a stumbling block in the path of our alcoholic sisters and brothers when we push alcohol front and center the way the House of Deputies appears to be doing? Where are we, in the words of Paul, wounding a weaker conscience by our enabling or our denial?

Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 6:

"All things are lawful for me" - but not everything is beneficial. "All things are lawful for me" - but I will not be controlled by anything.

While alcohol is lawful for us, it is not always beneficial. While alcohol is lawful for us, we have let it control us ... to the great detriment of our Church and its witness to Christ.

Trust the process

"Trust the process."

Anyone who has been down the road of following Christ's call into ordained ministry hears something along those lines - "trust the process." Call me snarky (go head ... it's ok. I've been called that a lot.) but I am not inclined to trust the process. Why? Because processes are run by people and, well being a people myself, I know what we're capable of doing and the level at which we can wreak havoc, destruction and colossally screw things up.

And it feels right now like the church I love has screwed up and one of its leaders has colossally wreaked havoc and destruction. I speak of the collision between the SUV driven by our Bishop Suffragan Heather Cook and bicyclist Tom Palermo who died as a result of his injuries. Bishop Cook is now in jail on a $2.5 million bail. She is charged with manslaughter, drunk driving and texting while driving. And it isn't the first time. She was arrested on a DUI just four years ago. In both cases, her blood alcohol content was extremely high (.27 & .22 respectively) indicating a high tolerance to alcohol ... meaning she is alcoholic.

Heather Cook was elected as bishop suffragan in May 2014, consecrated in September 2014, and this collision happened on December 27, 2014. According to the reports from our Bishop Diocesan and members of the search committee, they were only given minimal information about "a candidate" having "a prior DUI." Anyone who works with alcoholics and those in recovery know that this was just insufficient information to make an informed and pastoral decision about letting a candidate go forward in the process. Too many people looked at this and wanted to be forgiving. But forgiveness without accountability is nothing more than enabling. And our church enabled Heather Cook's disease and set her up to fail by not asking the tough questions about her plan of sobriety and putting her forward too soon. Heather failed us by choosing not to treat her alcoholism. Trust the process? Hell no!

So imagine my frustration when that phrase bubbled up while I was writing an icon. I've just started writing icons. I've always loved them but for many years was too afraid to try writing them myself. My growth as an artist was stunted somewhere between crayons and finger painting. But back in August, I took a leap and enrolled in a class on iconography. I was encouraged by someone I knew who was an artist ... and suffering from alcoholism. Sadly, his relapse resulted in a catastrophic meltdown of our relationship - mainly because he began to turn his abuse on me when he drank. I refuse to put up with abuse. But before that meltdown, he encouraged me to take this iconography class ... and for that I will always be grateful to him. I ended up really liking it and it helped me get through some very difficult times this fall.

I had always heard icons are prayed into existence. It's true. You can lose yourself in this if it is your calling. You "write" or paint them beginning with dark colors and adding highlights - moving from darkness to light, from chaos to Christ. The funny thing is ... you have to trust the process of writing them because there are times when you just cannot see how this whole thing is going to turn out. That's especially true when you start working on the faces of the figures. They start out with a base coat called "protoplasmos" ... yeah, protoplasm ... and it's this olive drab color that looks hideous. This is followed by a first flesh highlight that is tangerine orange ... yeah ... tangerine on olive drab. It just looks weird and I felt my anxiety going up when I looked at it. Then I heard it ... "trust the process." OK ... here goes ... yellow oxide next ... then yellow oxide and titanium white ... then the enliveners of titanium white. Getting better with each coat ... still looking a little weird.

And then it happened ... painting the eyes and suddenly BAM! There's this face looking at you. Seriously, a real honest to goodness face! Trust the process ... it worked ... and it taught me something. Our process isn't finished - God is still working things out. This horrible tragedy of death resulting from alcoholism and our church's behavior as an enabling family system is a wake up call to us. A wake up call that our process is flawed, we have been in denial and we need to start holding not only candidates for ordination and leadership accountable to sobriety but also have a consistent pastoral way to remove clergy from their charges when their disease becomes active and give them the opportunity to get treatment to be well.

Trust the process of revising the process. I pray we have the courage and faith in Christ to do a step 4 ("Taking a fearless moral inventory") and move forward into a more life giving future for the sake of Christ and the people he loves.

Trust God's process - there is one, though we may not know it. God isn't finished with us yet. God isn't finished with Heather yet and hasn't given up on her. God isn't finished with the artist who inspired me to try and hasn't given up on him either. And God isn't finished with me either.