For those of you who know me, my spiritual journey has been marked by many random acts of "Huh?" Søren Kirkegaard said, "Life is lived forwards but understood backwards." Hence most of the time when God is at work, my general response is "huh?" ... until much later.
My work at Hospice of Washington County was abruptly terminated in September 2011. Officially, I was terminated without cause. Essentially, I was placed in a position where I was told to ignore a legal obligation and violate my ordination vows - neither of which were acceptable.
The upshot of this is I had been scheduled to begin a stint as a long term supply clergy at Grace Episcopal Church in Brunswick, MD ... which began the Sunday after I was fired. Now being supply clergy is a few shekels in the pocket - but it doesn't really pay the bills. However, I had a place to be and an altar at which to celebrate and I somehow had a sense that God was at work. Maybe it was getting the phone call from a parishioner the same day I was fired who said, "I just heard you're coming to Grace and I'm so excited!" Or maybe it was later that same day when a deacon friend called and said, "Hey, I just had a call from the bishop's office - I'm coming to Grace Brunswick." Somehow it felt like, "Here's your sign" (and I don't mean the "Stupid sign" either).
After spending a few weeks at Grace, it became clear that their traditions were pretty high church. First hint, thurible hanging in the sacristy ... and a full boat of incense! My heritage is pretty high church having come from California, so I felt like we could work well together (and yes, the incense came out on All Saints Sunday and Christmas Eve).
In November, the vestry voted to call me as their Priest-in-Charge ... that's a priest who really isn't in charge of anything. Who said Anglican terminology is always accurate? I'm pretty much doing the work of a rector but in a "try before you buy" kind of way. The folks at Grace get to check me out and work with me and I get to check them out and work with them ... and after a year or three, we decide whether this is working and convert the position into rector if it's mutually agreeable.
So how'd I end up here? Only by Grace ... God's grace and the power of the risen Christ to make new things happen. Where will we go? I hope we'll go forward in the power of the Holy Spirit to make disciples, to be healers and reconcilers, and to bear the light of Christ in the community. I don't know how that's all going to work ... but I know it will be interesting.
Showing posts with label hospice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hospice. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Friday, June 4, 2010
Start talking ... now!
"Give it to me straight: do I have much time left?"
This was the question posed to me by a new patient just recently. She had cancer and it was spreading ... quickly.
"No, your time is growing very short."
Last week, she was walking throughout the nursing home. This week, she is bed bound.
"Will I be healed?"
We live in a "fix it" society that believes medical technology can fix anything. We deny that we will grow old, get sick and die. We forget that healing isn't just about the body.
"Yes, you will be healed, but not in the way you might have expected. Your cancer will not go away and will likely take your life. But your spirit will be healed and God's perfect healing for all of us is on the other side of the grave."
Sometimes it is spiritually and emotionally healing to let go of a futile fight. There is peace when we can stop raging against a progressing illness and just be there.
"Will I make it to North Carolina?"
Her daughter lived there and this patient wanted to visit her there. Her daughter was here now to take care of her mother.
"No, I don't believe you are strong enough to get to North Carolina."
"Can I go home to my house? I don't want to be here."
Most of my patients want to go home. Sometimes they mean the house they lived in for many years ... sometimes they mean their heavenly home. In this case she meant the former as it was more peaceful than the nursing home where she was.
"Well, I can't promise you that, but I'll see what we can do. In the meantime, we're committed to keeping you comfortable in body, mind and spirit."
"Does my daughter know how bad it is?"
Too often, families have a sense the end is near but fear talking about it with each other. The dying family member doesn't want to upset anyone and the other family members don't want to upset the dying person either. It's often an unintended conspiracy of silence which doesn't help anyone.
This was the question posed to me by a new patient just recently. She had cancer and it was spreading ... quickly.
"No, your time is growing very short."
Last week, she was walking throughout the nursing home. This week, she is bed bound.
"Will I be healed?"
We live in a "fix it" society that believes medical technology can fix anything. We deny that we will grow old, get sick and die. We forget that healing isn't just about the body.
"Yes, you will be healed, but not in the way you might have expected. Your cancer will not go away and will likely take your life. But your spirit will be healed and God's perfect healing for all of us is on the other side of the grave."
Sometimes it is spiritually and emotionally healing to let go of a futile fight. There is peace when we can stop raging against a progressing illness and just be there.
"Will I make it to North Carolina?"
Her daughter lived there and this patient wanted to visit her there. Her daughter was here now to take care of her mother.
"No, I don't believe you are strong enough to get to North Carolina."
"Can I go home to my house? I don't want to be here."
Most of my patients want to go home. Sometimes they mean the house they lived in for many years ... sometimes they mean their heavenly home. In this case she meant the former as it was more peaceful than the nursing home where she was.
"Well, I can't promise you that, but I'll see what we can do. In the meantime, we're committed to keeping you comfortable in body, mind and spirit."
"Does my daughter know how bad it is?"
Too often, families have a sense the end is near but fear talking about it with each other. The dying family member doesn't want to upset anyone and the other family members don't want to upset the dying person either. It's often an unintended conspiracy of silence which doesn't help anyone.
"Well, she's in the hallway with your nurse and it is our practice to be compassionately honest with people about what is happening. With your permission, I'll tell her what I've told you." My patient nodded.
The patient's daughter was clear about her mother's poor prognosis and I told her it was ok to talk about it with her mom. This patient did get home to her house for her final days and her daughter was able to be with her to the end. She lasted just 11 days in hospice care.
If there's anything I'd like to shout from a mountaintop it is to start talking about your end of life plans with your loved ones ... now! If you have trouble getting started, check out the Five Wishes web site at http://www.agingwithdignity.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Taking a bullet
Just when you thought I'd fallen off the face of the earth ... I'm back. ;-) The bathroom is still in a shambles but the new cabinets are installed and look quite nice. Tile floor and bath deck next (more demolition before that happens), then the paint, then we are done. I will be glad when it ends.
In the midst of all the stuff at home, I'm now almost 2 months into a new position as a staff chaplain with Hospice of Washington County. After being involved in an arduous 8 month long search process which ended last August with the other candidate getting the call, I was quite honestly fed up with all of it. There is no ideal way for a pastor/priest to enter congregational life - searches have their pitfalls (and they are many) but so do placement processes where the congregation gets no say in who is sent to be their spiritual leader. After what our daughters went through with the anxiety of a possible move and given their ages, I vowed not to do this again until they were out of the home. Searches are not kind to families at all!
This past fall, I began to look at other options. My time as a paid Assistant Rector was running short and my position at Calvary UMC was not going to become full-time ... and I needed full-time employment. So when I saw the ad in our local paper for chaplains at Hospice of Washington County, I sent my resume into them. I really wasn't sure I was cut out for hospice chaplaincy, but one of my seminary professors once said, "Talk to everybody. You don't know what the Holy Spirit might have in mind!" Well ... long story short ... I was offered the position on the spot at my interview. How refreshing to work with an organization that can make a decision without dragging it out ad infinitum!
My new boss, Steve, is a joy to work with as are the other four chaplains on our team. Steve's mother Sue is the Executive Director and she has worked very hard to create a work environment that is supportive of all the employees. I am very blessed to be there!
Working at hospice with people who are dying does change your perspective about what's really important and what's not. Steve and I were talking about this and his comment to me was, "The theological positions I'm willing to take a bullet for now are very few." I liked that image and it makes me wonder if this isn't how we should frame the question within the context of congregational life.
From my past work in congregations, I've witnessed people (myself included) taking hard and fast entrenched positions which, in light of the reality and finality of death, really aren't worth taking a bullet for. Church politics, personality clashes, arguments over whose scriptural interpretation is the "right one," threats of schism and power plays ... they all seem very foolish and childish. Too many times we cling to these issues as if they held ultimate importance - they don't! Faith in Jesus Christ, and him crucified, is of ultimate importance - everything else lags far behind.
What are you willing to take a bullet for? Have you held onto something which, in the face of death, really doesn't matter? If you don't know, go spend a few hours with a dying person and let them teach you a thing or two about priorities.
In the midst of all the stuff at home, I'm now almost 2 months into a new position as a staff chaplain with Hospice of Washington County. After being involved in an arduous 8 month long search process which ended last August with the other candidate getting the call, I was quite honestly fed up with all of it. There is no ideal way for a pastor/priest to enter congregational life - searches have their pitfalls (and they are many) but so do placement processes where the congregation gets no say in who is sent to be their spiritual leader. After what our daughters went through with the anxiety of a possible move and given their ages, I vowed not to do this again until they were out of the home. Searches are not kind to families at all!
This past fall, I began to look at other options. My time as a paid Assistant Rector was running short and my position at Calvary UMC was not going to become full-time ... and I needed full-time employment. So when I saw the ad in our local paper for chaplains at Hospice of Washington County, I sent my resume into them. I really wasn't sure I was cut out for hospice chaplaincy, but one of my seminary professors once said, "Talk to everybody. You don't know what the Holy Spirit might have in mind!" Well ... long story short ... I was offered the position on the spot at my interview. How refreshing to work with an organization that can make a decision without dragging it out ad infinitum!
My new boss, Steve, is a joy to work with as are the other four chaplains on our team. Steve's mother Sue is the Executive Director and she has worked very hard to create a work environment that is supportive of all the employees. I am very blessed to be there!
Working at hospice with people who are dying does change your perspective about what's really important and what's not. Steve and I were talking about this and his comment to me was, "The theological positions I'm willing to take a bullet for now are very few." I liked that image and it makes me wonder if this isn't how we should frame the question within the context of congregational life.
From my past work in congregations, I've witnessed people (myself included) taking hard and fast entrenched positions which, in light of the reality and finality of death, really aren't worth taking a bullet for. Church politics, personality clashes, arguments over whose scriptural interpretation is the "right one," threats of schism and power plays ... they all seem very foolish and childish. Too many times we cling to these issues as if they held ultimate importance - they don't! Faith in Jesus Christ, and him crucified, is of ultimate importance - everything else lags far behind.
What are you willing to take a bullet for? Have you held onto something which, in the face of death, really doesn't matter? If you don't know, go spend a few hours with a dying person and let them teach you a thing or two about priorities.
Friday, August 14, 2009
And in the end ...
I must admit I'm getting very frustrated with all the misinformation about health care reform going on right now. At the risk of being called a "socialist," I have always believed that there are certain things that should be treated as rights and not privileges. We seem to understand that when it comes to offering free public education to all young people from kindergarten through the 12th grade. Basic foundational education is not a privilege, it's a right and a literate populace is one of the preconditions to having a stable democracy.
Another thing I think is a right is basic health care for all people. There's a certain self-preservation logic to this. There are two major risks to not offering universal health care. The first is that those who do not have coverage will become an economic burden because they delay treatment of their illnesses and, when they finally do, they will use the most expensive means of procuring treatment (like showing up in the ER of the local hospital). The other major risk is a public health threat because those without access to health care can be infected with a communicable disease that can spread to the general population (think tuberculosis for one!).
The misinformation about end of life planning really galls me! These same senators who stuck their noses into the Terri Schiavo case back in 2005, now think the government should not be involved in end of life decisions. Give me a break! If Terri Schiavo had filled out an advanced directive, that whole legal battle would have never played out. You'd think our representatives would understand that reimbursing people for having a consult with their doctor on the options for end of life care would be a priority after that debacle. How sad that we have such sort memories!
As a Visitation Minister, I visit a lot of people at the end of their lives. I have had to have heart to heart talks with people about enrolling in hospice care and why they need to make the call rather than just sit in denial and wait for their adult children to do it for them. I have stacks of Five Wishes forms available for people to fill out and make their own personal beliefs and wishes known to their families. But in the end, I am not a doctor and cannot have the conversation about outcomes with respect to aggressive treatments at the end of life.
We are a death denying culture and any mention of death is used as the ultimate political weapon to strike fear into the hearts of people about any kind of health care reform. I pray that our people will see this fearmongering for what it is. I also pray for people to get real and know that, in the words of Jim Morrison, "No one here gets out alive."
Another thing I think is a right is basic health care for all people. There's a certain self-preservation logic to this. There are two major risks to not offering universal health care. The first is that those who do not have coverage will become an economic burden because they delay treatment of their illnesses and, when they finally do, they will use the most expensive means of procuring treatment (like showing up in the ER of the local hospital). The other major risk is a public health threat because those without access to health care can be infected with a communicable disease that can spread to the general population (think tuberculosis for one!).
The misinformation about end of life planning really galls me! These same senators who stuck their noses into the Terri Schiavo case back in 2005, now think the government should not be involved in end of life decisions. Give me a break! If Terri Schiavo had filled out an advanced directive, that whole legal battle would have never played out. You'd think our representatives would understand that reimbursing people for having a consult with their doctor on the options for end of life care would be a priority after that debacle. How sad that we have such sort memories!
As a Visitation Minister, I visit a lot of people at the end of their lives. I have had to have heart to heart talks with people about enrolling in hospice care and why they need to make the call rather than just sit in denial and wait for their adult children to do it for them. I have stacks of Five Wishes forms available for people to fill out and make their own personal beliefs and wishes known to their families. But in the end, I am not a doctor and cannot have the conversation about outcomes with respect to aggressive treatments at the end of life.
We are a death denying culture and any mention of death is used as the ultimate political weapon to strike fear into the hearts of people about any kind of health care reform. I pray that our people will see this fearmongering for what it is. I also pray for people to get real and know that, in the words of Jim Morrison, "No one here gets out alive."
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