Wednesday, June 17, 2009

On hold

I feel like I'm living my life "on hold" right now. Back in April, I accepted a temporary (9 month) call to return to my home congregation to help them with evangelism and communications. My big project is getting a new web site created, documented and the web master trained to maintain it. It's getting there ... in pieces! In the meantime, I'm still doing the visitation work at Calvary UMC where I'll be preaching this Sunday because our senior pastor is on a mission trip starting Saturday and going all the way through next week.

I'm thankful for having the work in both of these places, but I am finding that holding down two part-time positions is far more exhausting than working one full-time position. I'm constantly shifting gears and having to reorient myself from one place to the other - sometimes on a daily basis. Like yesterday when I was at staff meeting at Calvary, then a lunch meeting, followed by an afternoon with one of our Calvary shut-ins who is in hospice care actively dying, then a brief pause to get my daughter to swimming lessons, then to Washington County hospital to check on a St. Mark's member ... dinner at 9:00PM ... at home. I'm finding I use my GPS even more because I can't keep where I'm going straight in my head anymore! At least a little screen with a voice tells me where to go (not that others aren't telling me where to go, but you get the idea!).

I'm still in search for a full-time position. I'm in the final stretch of one process in Massachusetts and will be headed up there in July to interview. I'm excited about this but I also know we can get right to the end and I don't get the call. That's the nature of this whole process, so I'm a bit guarded in my enthusiasm. I've also submitted my name to two searches in a neighboring diocese. They are just starting out, so they are at least 6-9 months out on extending a call.

I guess the hardest thing for me is how slow the process is and, when you are actively in a search and one of the final candidates, your whole life seems to be put on hold indefinitely. Don't get me wrong, the folks I've worked with in Massachusetts have been fantastic in communicating with me throughout the process; however, it is just a long drawn out affair that requires you to be open and flexible. The process makes it difficult to plan your life - everything goes "on hold" as you wait for contact to find out if you've made it to the next round. If so, you plan the "next step" and then wait again.

This is especially hard with our girls each going to a different school this fall. Our youngest will head to middle school and the oldest to high school. There's a lot to plan for if we stay right here, but we don't know if we'll be staying right here or not. If we do move, it will be even more hectic than if we stay (which will be hectic enough).

So it's all on hold ... for now ... at least there's no Muzak playing in the background!


Sarah Dylan Breuer said...

Dunno where in Mass you're interviewing, but if it's anywhere near Boston, feel free to give a former fellow Fredericktonian a shout!

Reverend Mom said...

Will do Sarah. It's on the Cape, so my only day in Boston will be to interview with the bishop (but we'll play tourist while we're there).

Anonymous said...

Hello, I just checked out your blog today, and I saw this post from June. I hope that some of the pressure you feel has been alleviated. I can relate to what you are going through, feeling overwhelmed, fragmented, fatigued. "If I were 25 rather than 45. . ." I've said that myself a million times. I am in the second year of a 2 year "part-time" internship in the ELCA, and finding it hard to breath with all the things going on in my life, other good work, two children, my own beloved husband. Sister - hang in there. I'm praying that God gives you strength and that God gives you peace. Desiree'