Don't it always seem to go ...

I've had the song Big Yellow Taxi going through my head today. I'm old enough to remember Joni Mitchell's original recording of this song but young enough to give props to Counting Crows for their respectable cover of it. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone?

I lost a fellow sojourner in the faith this week. The Rev. Mary Pat Ashby was well beloved in the Diocese of Maryland and certainly there were many who knew her better than I did; however, she graced me with time and care, especially in my call to serve as a priest.

I met Mary Pat+ at Diocesan Center in the summer of 1996. I had been selected to be part of a five woman delegation to the Diocese of Tokyo to discuss women's ordination to the priesthood which had been considered by their national synod convention the prior year. The vote was split with the House of Deputies (lay persons, deacons and priests) voting in favor of full ordination for women and the House of Bishops voting against. There was discouragement among the people, especially those women who felt called to the priesthood and had to continue waiting.

That September, the five of us journeyed to Tokyo for a whirlwind 12 day trip. I say whirlwind not just because of the pace of all our visits and presentations (and there were many panel discussions with lots of question and answer sessions), but also because Typhoon Violet made an appearance that first Sunday we were to visit our sister congregations! We all made it to our various churches in spite of wind, downed trees and flooded streets. We were all greeted most warmly and shown amazing hospitality.

Midway through the trip, we went into the Japanese Alps (yes, they have serious mountains there!). There we spent two days with women and men in retreat where we were housed in a dormitory style setting. Mary Pat+ and I went walking early the first morning we were there ... and found ourselves locked out of the building. No matter, there was an open window and with a boost, up Mary Pat+ went and scrambled through the window. We had a hard time stifling our laughter so as not to wake our companions.

After the retreat, Mary Pat+ and I were slated to go on to Nagoya for a Sunday service and to speak at "St. Matthew's Church" while the rest of our group went to Osaka. Our guide was Yoko Tachikawa - a very short Japanese woman who spoke no English. We figured we stood out in a crowd, so English or no English, Yoko would be able to find us if we got separated. We boarded the train to Gifu City where Yoko's husband Paul+ was the priest at the local Anglican church. Paul+ spoke a little English and drove us from the train station to our hotel. As Paul+ sped along the narrow road, he got just a bit too close to the railing on the right side of the car and BAM! off went the side mirror! Mary Pat+ and I about jumped out of our skin but Paul+ seemed rather nonplussed about the whole thing ... which made us politely stifle our laughter until we got into our hotel room. I swear we laughed until it hurt!

In hindsight, that trip, and our misadventures on it, inched me closer to ordination to the priesthood. Mary Pat+ quietly supported me and gave me encouragement. As a former transitional ministries officer, she helped review my resume and my CDO profile with helpful suggestions. She knew how difficult my first year of ordained ministry was. Closing a church is never on a new priest's radar and to find myself on Good Friday saying good-bye to the members of that church and knowing I had nowhere to go on Easter Sunday was just devastating. My first Easter as a priest ... all dressed up and nowhere to go.

Last year, Mary Pat+ retired from Grace Episcopal in New Market. She called me before she left and basically set me up to be the supply priest for a few months while the congregation took the time to call an interim. It was the first Easter where I was the chief celebrant at the Eucharist. Yes, I had assisted in other congregations in prior years, but it wasn't quite the same. Mary Pat+ made sure I would be chief celebrant at Grace on the holiest day of the Christian year - and for that I will always be grateful.

Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone? I will miss Mary Pat+ and will wait with patient expectation for the day when we will see each other again.

Japan

It has been very heartbreaking for me to see the pictures and videos of the devastating earthquake and tsunami in Japan. For me, it is personal. I grew up in California and have experienced my share of strong earthquakes; albeit nothing as strong as the one in Japan, but strong enough to throw me around the room as I tried to make it to a doorway to brace myself for the shocks. Earthquakes come with no warning and can strike at any time.

But more than my own experience of earthquakes is my personal connection with people in Japan. I had the honor and privilege to be part of a delegation to the Nippon Sei Ko Kai, Diocese of Tokyo in 1996. Nippon Sei Ko Kai (or NSKK) is the Anglican Church in Japan and it has a longstanding relationship with the Episcopal Church as many of our clergy were missionaries to Japan.

I was part of a five woman delegation to the NSKK in 1996 consisting of two priests, one deacon and two laywomen (I was one of the laywomen back then). We were invited by the Bishop of Tokyo to come and engage in conversations about the ordination of women to the priesthood. At that time, the NSKK would ordain women as deacons but would not ordain them as priests or bishops. The NSKK's synod convention voted on a resolution that year to ordain women as priests - a vote which resulted in a split between the houses. Like the United States Congress, many national churches in the Anglican Communion have bicameral systems of governance consisting of the House of Bishops (made up of ... bishops) and the House of Deputies (consisting of priests, deacons and laypersons). Both houses have to vote in favor of a resolution to pass it. In the vote that year on ordaining women as priests, the House of Deputies approved the resolution and the House of Bishops voted against it. The Bishop of Tokyo was in favor of ordaining women as priests largely because of his experience of women priests in the United States - hence our invitation.

I was blessed to spend twelve days in Japan with our sisters and brothers in the NSKK. We spent time in Tokyo, Kyoto, Gifu City, Nagoya (1/2 our delegation went to Osaka), and even spent time in the mountains on retreat. It was an amazing experience and the radical hospitality of our friends in Japan was overwhelming. Their generosity of spirit and willingness to support the mission and ministry of a Church which comprises approximately .02% of the population was remarkable. Our trip there was just one year after the devastating earthquake in Kobe and the stories we heard of how the congregations responded to this disaster with generous gifts of money and time to help Kobe rebuild were amazing. One church had held a capital campaign to build a new church but, when the earthquake hit, the congregation voted unanimously to send their entire building fund to Kobe. Their rationale? "They need the money more than we do." That's stewardship!

Bishop Kato of the Tohoku Diocese (near the epicenter of the quake and where the tsunami hit hardest) is asking for our prayers. I ask you for prayers and one thing more. Please make a donation to the Episcopal Relief and Development Fund and direct that donation to the Japan Earthquake Response Fund. Go to: https://www.er-d.org/donate-select.php to donate online. Episcopal Relief and Development Fund sends 100% of your donation directly to the relief efforts. Bishop Kato and his staff are setting up a relief center in Sendai City and they need your help.

And for those of you who are wondering ...
18 months after our trip to Japan, the NSKK had another synod convention and voted again on the resolution regarding ordaining women as priests. It passed both houses overwhelmingly.